I ask why, knowing that I won't be the one who knows why.

I ask how, knowing that I won't be the one who knows how.

I ask where, knowing that I won't be the who knows where.

It's always been this way with me. The peeping tom. I can't invade thinking space. I can't always understand.

And I just can't be at all places at once.

I want to though.

That's only something You seem to be able to do.

Bethany Dillon - For My Love lyrics

Walk towards me
I want to hear
the heavens singing over You
When You breathe
and look at me
I want to be captured by You

Gaze into my eyes
let me know You'd fight
Thousands for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with You tonight
Just ask me
For my love

I want to hide
What's deep in my eyes
I'm scared to be known by You
But when I turn my head
I see You there
I wanna be pursued

Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you'd fight
Thousands for my love
Slip Your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with You tonight
Just ask me for my love

A dream I would wake from
Story that will never end
The ground Your feet walk on
Let me be there
Let me be there

Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you'd fight
Thousands for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
X2

Slip your hand in mine
Ask me dance with You tonight
Ask me for my love


Sidenote: Falling in love, knowing that I am loved and knowing that women want to be loved like this, the song's sentiments resonate with me. Bethany Dillon, you can strum the chords of my heart anytime.

On a deeper level, the thanks goes to the Big Man Upstairs. For trusting us with spreading Your message. It blows my mind when I ask myself why You trust me, us. Besides the fact that You are with us always, could it be because You designed us and know we could do it with Your help? Even though You don't need us?

There's so many ways to conclude. I mean, B, just pick a path and follow it. I'd like to think of it like this: You let us do things, so in the midst, we learn that You know us everything about us. And as we learn how much You know us, we experience You.

Thanks Pr.Sam for the mindblowing message you gave yesterday. SP, you're the one for me, till ?

This journey to loving myself, loving God and loving others is simultaneously liberating, tiring, joyful and revealing. As I leave this retreat and meet with other people, the more I see how God loves me, the more freedom I know, the more desire to just connect with other people.

Yet it is at the same time that this feeling of my initiation and the sense of undeveloped family makes my heart so tired. It feels like an upward struggle.

I won't oust the possibility that I am sensitive. But it's just so hard...shouldn't the family of God welcome you? I know each person is struggling with their own. I don't blame them, I understand. But I just feel tired...

Lord, give me the strength to persevere and to really see myself as You see me.