As work chugs along and picks up pace to that special day, thoughts on friends, friendship and community rise to the surface. Things which I allowed to sink into the oceanic depths of my heart are reappearing; whether I like it or not. And they're not pretty.
Do I choose to salve or feign ignorance? History says I opt for the latter; an emotional shutdown for every time my hopes are met with hurts. It would be easier to maintain a distance from these shipwrecks. My heart would sigh gladly and be relieved. I could continue living a sheltered existence. Yet...
The lure or more, of adventure and pocketing gems of self-discovery invites me to step out.
To date or not to date?
To initiate communication or to not communicate?
Those are just questions that bring me to even deeper places. I feel unready and non prepared.
But I have a strange feeling that I am a lot more ready than I presume myself to be...
God, help me not to freak out.
