Understood.

Crouching to her level, bent knees, open arms, inviting smile, I encouraged the toddler to come my way.

Crouching to meet me at my level, open arms, inviting smile, Jesus encouraged me to go His way.

In one moment, I understood.

在想...

想跟你做朋友...這個關係能夠滿足我的好奇嗎?

很想有個機會試試看...進入你們的世界. 不想俾誘或勝戰. 想進去...然侯改變你們做這行工作的原因.

目的是認識你或是改變你們?

Nuances

우리 사람들이 너무 재미있어요.

We are. So incredibly fascinating. The things we cry about, our little mannerisms when we don't think anyone's looking, the approach we take, every little thing.

Note to self:
Must remember to capture these little nuances of the Korean people when I go to Seoul. Digi, please have audio by then. I need you to work with me!

Something to brighten your day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oGoILt35Ag&search=Fly%20To%20The%20Sky%20

You don't have to understand Korean to get this.

Love (So Beautiful)

Fashioned with different talents and skills, you and I are so special. We are more priceless than unearthed archeological wares. We do more than just sit pretty.

I deeply believe that when people recognize their gifts and use them, they do great things in their lives. Especially when they put their talents and strengths to the right task, amazing things can happen. Even more amazing is when we interact and use our abilities together to achieve the same and right goal, oh wow, good things come into fruition! And in those moments also, you're also living the greatest of your life...you are ALIVE!

You seed, I plant, you water...your song + my dance, our team. We become the definitions of life.

This song - Love (So beautiful) - DJ Maj, Liquid Beats, Boogiroots, reminds me of those things...little things, the pleasure of living...it's a privilege just to be able to breathe, make "breakfast in my little kitchen". So alive...so alive...

Thank you for the gifts You give me.

Parcel and Past Tense

I attended the Toronto-Singapore Film Festival organized by a friend today. Although the movies were not the best cut or edited or acclaimed, I enjoyed the fact that they engaged me and allowed me the freedom of thinking and wondering.

'Past Tense' was like an injected current into a once tepid pool of water. It stirred up currents and the forgotten things in my thoughts. The whole notion of memories, the past, people, particular translated into latches or anchors (if you will), that we use to see ourselves.

I thought of all the latches or anchors, if you will, we use to attach ourselves to a particular context. These are what keeps us grounded and the backdrop that we play against; in relation to it, it seems that everything makes sense. In relation to it, it seems we remember we have a past, a history and a slate full of information that tells us, this is who we are.

While being in context is all well and good, to the person or individual who is a new creation, such a reminder of the old is like a scar being scoured with salt. Like the recent novel A Million Pieces, the solution opted for, is the one that will break you. Fighting harder to leave it, then just making peace with it. A greater trauma in need of a greater period of healing.

Si vous voyez ma coeur, tu veux compendre. Toute de suite. Even though your chidings are from the most sincere place, they are like great dosses of salt on the scars; yours and mine. Yours because you doubt there is an easier way to healing and mine, because you show me I have scars.

Mais, il y a l'espoir toujours. Pourquoi? Parce-que...c'est d'endroit d'amour. But always remember, where there is also faith there is the right way: the simple decision not to pick up the yoke. But to leave it at the feet of the Lord.

There are certain latches, really chains that we have to remove. We are no longer imprisoned, so let us lift off those things that keep us from soaring.

Speechless. Devoid of words. Mum. Thoughtless. Joyful. Frustrated.

The body becomes the greatest prosecutor and defendor in music.

Take it as it is.

Locked out for a moment

"야...왜그래 나는???" was the feeling I had when the door knob failed to yield.

The level of sucking increases when you have an egg mask on your face. -_- Blinking helplessly with an immobile face, I postulated several alternatives: a) Camp outside my room; b) Call locksmith; c) Ask Roomie

Roomie it was. After major executive decision-making, I decided to sacrifice my 10-minute mask. It would go off in 5...

Me: *peering under the door for light of each door* *knock knock on Abishek's door*
Abe: Hey
Me: Abe...I locked myself out of my room!! Abe, what do I do??
Abe: Umm....*Rummages for hammer*

Abe rocks! I had apparently gone to the right roomie. He had unlocked that door twice before. Both times involved the weapon of choice - the hammer. In this instance though, he managed to pry and jiggle. It's the skills, baby!

Thanks also to the Man Upstairs! A quick prayer to help, guided footsteps and a little bit of hope go a long way too!

Thank you Emily. I received your love in the post. :)

Sifting

Sifting through all the information I collected and produced in university, I wonder: how much is actually useful and should I retain?

Urban waste management, social research methods, environmental theory, dramas and literature. How much of it will I go back to?

Not wanting to keep it, but not wanting to throw away my own penmanship.

Sigh. No wonder I have so much unfinished packing.

Slow Down and Relax

I feel so relaxed now. Tonight, I have Winterlicious Pangaea to look forward to. YES! Can't wait to have a nice dinner with my girl friend(s).

I was thinking that I'd have that job right now. But maybe, I don't need that job. They have yet to get back to, but I won't be upset if they turn me down. Actually, it'll be rather nice to take things slow, fill out my donship applications and have Becky come over a little earlier than expected.

Everything is being laid out so beautifully. Couldn't have been done any better.

I am free

The tremendous testing has been lifted off my chest. It feels good to know that I am not under the pressure anymore. Whatever happens, doing well or not doing well, I leave that in Your hands. I did the best I could. Now I just have to wait to glorfiy Him.

A lot of thoughts have been flooding in, along with many responsibilities that have been waiting for me. You tell me now to worry, because tommorrow has its worries. Tommorrow has arrived, and I will resume the work that You have left for me. And I simply be the channel in which all comes from You.

There were so many new faces at church today. I feel certain and assured that this next month and a half will be great and God will move and we will testify to Your work.

You're awesome.

Korean dramas, Pangaea, fun and games, here I come!

Testing Draws Near

I won't ever know my reach till I'm tested.

I think about this, as the LSATs are drawing near. I try harder on my part, but it seems the dream You've bestowed me, wavers and wanes. The assurance of UT Law School was once 100%. I don't want that to go away. Ever. I don't EVER want to EVER doubt what You've assured me. When I almost died, You saved my life. How can I forget that assurance that You will bless me and keep me?

I know that I have my limits. I know that beyond my limits is the infinite of the Lord God Almighty. How easy it would be if I just rushed head long and jumped off that cliff; trusting that the Lord would catch me and show me I don't only have legs; but the wings of an eagle.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
(Proverbs 3:5)

A matter of focus

Darn it. I can't seem to concentrate. I think it's all the food I bought in Chinatown. They're beckoning at me....

Ok, ok. So I know that food has no actual willpower or vocal chords to MAKE me lavish attention on them more so than on my LSATs. Me and my fidgety hands. Better pack them away and completely focus on my LSATs and take occasional breaks; maybe with food.

Actually not. Occasional exhalation of thoughts on the blog, stretching and cleaning my room for Young Mi's visit should do the trick. Then a nice, hot shower.

Prayer Requests (This is where I put down things you guys can pray for me! Please and Thank you!) :

Overall: Excel and grow in the month of February

1. Saturday 4th: LSAT - do well to glorify God, subsequently getting in UT;
2. Deeper & closer relationship with God;
   
3. 6th: Complete dance routine for audition;
   
4. Establishment of Holy-Spirit lead-cell;
5. More intimate relationship with my disciples;
   
6. 15th - 20th: Completion of donship applications, pray for my favor with those who review the applications; get a donship!
   
7. Share of Christ's love in the workplace and friends;
   
8. Breaking down problems into smaller bite-size pieces e.g. so when something happens, I can give the person the slice, and not the cake...too overwhelming; the grief on both sides...
   
9. Boldness & articulation in speaking;

Thanks guys. Where would I be without prayer? The way of communication that God gives us to ask and receive of things. In all things, may God's will be done!