It occurred to me as I was chewing on my red bean pancake, that this was one of those memorable nights, before I left for Hong Kong. Deep in my spirit and my heart I am hungering to go back home. I can't explain it. I am desperate to go home.
The clean air, the clear starry nights, walking home to a house of mis-matched people, I felt nostalgic. Anuska must have felt this way when she was leaving for Trinidad. I'm trying to remember exactly how each thing is or feels like. Mother's Dumplings, the eclectic mix and multiculturalism communicated in the variety of foods, the ambience of being with my church family (God I love them!), sitting and talking with Mahia over the kitchen counter, my heart to heart talks in broken Korean with Young Mi, laughing out of pure joy because Hana brings that, Munchkins with Jin & Michelle & Peter & Richard & Abi, dancing on stage, doing what I feel, the four seasons, the beautiful parks, the non-mugginess, dressing the way I feel, this little room and house...everything.
Ah....lump in my throat. Which is the bitter which is the sweet? There is goodness here and half way around the world. I feel like I'm leaving half of myself to reclaim another half in Hong Kong.
Even so, this song reminds me to be still before You:
Hillsong - Still
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
Prayer: Lord, in all this I remember You walking on water, and the waves were rough. I remember another story where You tell Peter to come out of the boat. In both cases, You showed us that if we step out towards You, we receive peace. I know You are asking me to step out, in my heart, to walk by faith. Lord, I want to trust you so badly. I'm not perfect, but I'll always remember that the comfort of the Holy Spirit and the fear of the Lord. Help mto trust You Jesus. Amen.
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