why must i go through this pain again? all the hurt and distrust of guys just wells up inside me again. why do i fall so easily? why don't they like me back? is it because i'm not good enough? a candid confession if there is any of me floating around on cyber space. i feel like there is all this "stuff" that's inside of me. i feel insecure.
even though anticipating what she was gonna say and what was going on, there is always the unexpected - how i'll react in the situation. she didn't expect i would be this hurt. i braved on honesty and told her how confusing he was. that helped for me to be real.
once again, like in the k & j situation i seemed gracious and strong. but i'm not. even if jj says i am. but isn't that the not good part? God wants me to be weak so He can be my strength.
even so, i feel like i've been rejected. talking to my cousin who tried to comfort me helped a little. i'm pondering if i should call on my prayer army and ask for their support.
i wonder when i will learn my lesson. how will i handle this? is this a test? how will i fare on it?why can't i just be happy for once for a new couple??? when will i stop envying and living for myself?
all these spirit-breaking questions. humbling. and also i'm wondering: by circumstance or by my choice?
when will i have my happy ending?
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