No More Silence

Dear God,

I really want to address you as Daddy and that's who you are to me, but today it feels unnatural and uncomfortable. Maybe it's because the distance between you and I is greater today. Or maybe it hurts and reminds me that my relationship with my earthly daddy isn't great now...

The silence between me and daddy are before me. Walls are ever before me, ones that I have erected and retreated behind. They seemed safe, but in reality they are oppressors that remain tall and erect, unyielding, unbending, there are no exceptions to the rule. Has it always been this way? Maybe it has but now even more so, as we carry the walls, these burdens in the house, in the car, in our lives, their weighty presence crushing the livelihood I thought they would sustain. Self-defense mechanisms suck...and I don't want to keep living like this.

I lament the years that I've wasted not rising above it. But I dare to dream and I dare to rise above it now. I CHOOSE this: To take the risk to be honest and sincere from my heart...and trust that His Grace will sustain us and bring us to reconciliation. If Germany can reunite, so can we...

Dear daddy,

I wish so many things for us. Good things. Things that we had and things that we never did. Maybe you aren't proud of me and you're disappointed in me, but that's ok. Jesus will heal those hurts of mine. But enough of the heaviness. That's not for us. We were made with joy and we will live lives of reconciliation, joy, realness, mutual understanding, respect, love. I speak goodness over our relationship!

Love conquers! He will not fail. :)

Love,
Your daughter

In elementary school my report cards always said that I was diligent but a daydreamer. Now that I'm an adult, I trust that daydreaming is good and believe that my daydreams are not just idyllic fantasies, but visions that can fill reality with His hope and His intentions.

That's my reality. What's yours?