Brooke Fraser - Seeds

Night Field of stars above us You pick one We frame it with our fingers intertwined Seeds of every generation Between our hands And the promise to teach you the little I have learned So far CHORUS Child What will you live to do? What have I left for you? What will we leave behind? You Learning as you're growing Not yet knowing The world isn't always quite as beautiful As it is now CHORUS INSTRUMENTAL Night Field of stars above us I pick one and name it for you And all who are to come

Copyright Brooke Fraser and David Bassett

Estella by default?

Brooke Fraser - Shadowfeet Lyrics

Walking, stumbling
On these shadow feet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began

And I have sensed it all along
Now fast approaching is the day

CHORUS
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction
Buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way


CHORUS


Bridge
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things...

CHORUS

CHORUS 2
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

This space, I've been here before. The uncomfortable and uncertain space between two phases in your life, like the accordion bit between carriages...

There isn't really a going forward or a backward. It's a question of where I want to be and where I should be...


Today wasn't such a great day. It was mostly sobering because I realised that May had a point and I was greatly humbled. The complaining, my calloused and party pooper attitude towards this job. Hananim mi an hae. Nae ga chal moet ae ss o. Yong so hae ju sae yo...I've been such a jerk about this...I've been ungratefuly and forgotten that I should do the best job that I can. She's right...I need to be patiently abiding, humbled and submitted to whatever God will have me do...I've got to take responsibility for what I do, and stop being immature about it and take ownership of what I do...

Flicker

There are those encounters you have that breathe a flicker of life back into you. They rescucitate you always at the most significant of times.

I met up with Perry yesterday and he reminded me once again that I must inhale. Otherwise I'd exhume before my time.

I guess I've been holding my breathe. These days have been painful, being deconstructed. I feel like and am like a house that is being built down. What you would see are my skeletons. Yes. I am like the valley of the dry bones. Thinking that I am preserving life by holding it in, I contain staleness. Holding on so desperately to death when what I need is life. I need God's breathe in me. His life, not mine. So why am I being such an ass about this? Prolonging death instead of embracing the living?

I want to move on.

Hearing God's Voice Part III

Being able to hear God's voice - three steps

1) Availability - no better time than the present (SCHEDULE THE TIME FOR HIM)
Matthew 4 - Man cannot live on bread alone, but only the Word of Life;
Isaiah 40 (those who wait on the Lord soar on the wings of eagles);
Daniel 6 - example who spent regular time with the Lord
*disobeying nudgings = won't get them anymore

2) Willingness
John 7:16 onwards. If you are willing to obey, you'll know it's Him.
He speaks in ways He will test us, make us grow
Acts 8 - Paul listened
Be blessed by taking that step of faith - decision that takes the most?

3) Humility - discernment
- If only we see how God is protecting us with His angels, His omnipotence
Numbers 12 - Moses most humblest man on face on earth - could speak to God face to face.
"if God is for you who can be against you???
God: You're a fool.
You: Yes I am.

God: You're the king of the universe.
You: Yes I am.

Psalm 138
Matthew 23

God most abhors pride.

Question: Why do I want to hear God's voice?
Need only?
His children.
Ephesians 5:10

It's been so long since I've sat down and collected my thoughts, to be responsible to them and really allow them to be heard.

Wait. Has it really been so long? I know I sound redundant, but when I think how long it's been that I've picked up the mirror to look at myself, I realise that I've held back for too long.

It's time...to pick up the pen again.

To write how I feel, to acknowledge them, to more than God and a few chosen few, but to unknown faces.

How do I begin?

Do I start from where I left off?

Wherever I start, I know one thing is true. Even if I am little, my voice will not be.

My voice will be heard.

Bethany Dillon - Let your light shine

Verse 1
The calmer of the sea
Here in this room with me
So gently welcoming
The weakest things in me

You are the blood over
The door of my heart
What pain You spared me from
How could I know it all

Wonderful love You died for me
The power of
Your life is in me

Chorus
Father let Your light shine down on me (x2)
No matter what the day or night may bring
Father let Your light shine down on me

Verse 2
Oh Jesus You became
What was my deepest shame
That had Your very name
My callous heart would change

How could You perfect one
Love me when I have done
Nothing that's worthy of
My freedom You have won

Oh wonderful one
You've died for me
The power of love
Your life is in me

Chorus

Bridge
Open up the heavens
Pour down Your spirit
Hold me God
Oh Jesus whoever You lead
Sing harmony
Shine on me God

Chorus (x 3)

I love going braless. :)

Perhaps the most physically free/liberated I can feel without feeling uncomfortable or offending others. Like PeeWee Herman.

Loose Ends

I better write this down before I forget all of it. Life is blurry since university. It's not good.

1. Dream (surprise engagement party)
2. Dream (withdrawal scrolls, washroom - lots of lumps in the bowl, slowly swirling, difficulty flushing, parents, in part of Toronto and I was in this movie, then China with Im-Sook and she's bargaining prices for something)
3. What is he waiting for? I sense that it is not me. Does that mean that it's not meant to be?
4. The winning point: God is after our hearts. If that's the case, how bad could anything be?