Before the herds and swarms of people, I witness the wake of Chinatown and its very foundations: the earnest hardwork ethic of people that build their lives with their two hands.
To their calloused hands, leather faces, scruffy outfits and their arched silhouettes, I show respect. They are long-standing trees in concrete. Rooted and determined to survive.
In their midst, I am living my life and loving the realness of it all.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Nostalgy
I'm packing for my NYC trip. I'm so tired, but can't sleep since I gotta head to work early tommorrow for the budget report.
Speaking of KGV, our high school stories, detention, friends that passed away and family...a seemingly undissolvable ache formed in my heart. Closing my eyes, I remembered that boy, Timothy Law, and even though I didn't know him, I felt your grief for more than an instant. To be only 21, and have three of friends pass away to cancer, to suicide, to reckless driving.
These memories are yours, but let me borrow them for a moment.
On Sports Day, you and I talked, while you sat in your wheelchair with an IV drip extending from your hand. Though you were still on morphine and tired from chemo, you said one day you would get better and we'd have a basketball match. The light and hope shined in your eyes, while you said you would win. Believing with all my heart, I believed you would keep your promise...
Jin wan, shi jue hao shang hen dai. Ku ye ku dao shing tong. Na kk ta mol-a-sso-yo. Na al-go-ship-o-yo. Moreover, I pray that You bind his heart, help him to see beyond and also understand, that even though he might not know why You did it. Let him hold no anger or bitterness against You. But understand that Timothy testified of You, of Your Grace...and also unconsciously motivated him to live his life well. Because he has health.
Speaking of KGV, our high school stories, detention, friends that passed away and family...a seemingly undissolvable ache formed in my heart. Closing my eyes, I remembered that boy, Timothy Law, and even though I didn't know him, I felt your grief for more than an instant. To be only 21, and have three of friends pass away to cancer, to suicide, to reckless driving.
These memories are yours, but let me borrow them for a moment.
On Sports Day, you and I talked, while you sat in your wheelchair with an IV drip extending from your hand. Though you were still on morphine and tired from chemo, you said one day you would get better and we'd have a basketball match. The light and hope shined in your eyes, while you said you would win. Believing with all my heart, I believed you would keep your promise...
Jin wan, shi jue hao shang hen dai. Ku ye ku dao shing tong. Na kk ta mol-a-sso-yo. Na al-go-ship-o-yo. Moreover, I pray that You bind his heart, help him to see beyond and also understand, that even though he might not know why You did it. Let him hold no anger or bitterness against You. But understand that Timothy testified of You, of Your Grace...and also unconsciously motivated him to live his life well. Because he has health.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
A day of more than 24 hours
2:05 AM. 今晚有睡不著。天啊。 觉得这样子是最累的。 身体順要 休息, 但是腦袋關不掉．
Mmm. Peanut butter is my main backup sustainance. It has got to be one of THE most greatest inventions ever. I have already had 2 tablespoonfuls in the Joe Black fashion.
Dao di yao deng duo jou neng gou ren shi ni? Dao di yao guo do xiao chen jang cai neng yue dao ni ne?
I'm clinging to Your promise. You will lure me back to the days of youth. You will quiet me with Your love. You will rejoice over me with singing. Under Your protection, I shall hide in the secret place and await Your timing.
이젠까지, 그만해. 저는 한나님께서의 선텍을 기다릴게요. 그레면, 빨리와. 제 마음은 will be guarded.
Mmm. Peanut butter is my main backup sustainance. It has got to be one of THE most greatest inventions ever. I have already had 2 tablespoonfuls in the Joe Black fashion.
Dao di yao deng duo jou neng gou ren shi ni? Dao di yao guo do xiao chen jang cai neng yue dao ni ne?
I'm clinging to Your promise. You will lure me back to the days of youth. You will quiet me with Your love. You will rejoice over me with singing. Under Your protection, I shall hide in the secret place and await Your timing.
이젠까지, 그만해. 저는 한나님께서의 선텍을 기다릴게요. 그레면, 빨리와. 제 마음은 will be guarded.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Understood.
Crouching to her level, bent knees, open arms, inviting smile, I encouraged the toddler to come my way.
Crouching to meet me at my level, open arms, inviting smile, Jesus encouraged me to go His way.
In one moment, I understood.
Crouching to meet me at my level, open arms, inviting smile, Jesus encouraged me to go His way.
In one moment, I understood.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Nuances
우리 사람들이 너무 재미있어요.
We are. So incredibly fascinating. The things we cry about, our little mannerisms when we don't think anyone's looking, the approach we take, every little thing.
Note to self:
Must remember to capture these little nuances of the Korean people when I go to Seoul. Digi, please have audio by then. I need you to work with me!
Something to brighten your day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oGoILt35Ag&search=Fly%20To%20The%20Sky%20
You don't have to understand Korean to get this.
We are. So incredibly fascinating. The things we cry about, our little mannerisms when we don't think anyone's looking, the approach we take, every little thing.
Note to self:
Must remember to capture these little nuances of the Korean people when I go to Seoul. Digi, please have audio by then. I need you to work with me!
Something to brighten your day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oGoILt35Ag&search=Fly%20To%20The%20Sky%20
You don't have to understand Korean to get this.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Love (So Beautiful)
Fashioned with different talents and skills, you and I are so special. We are more priceless than unearthed archeological wares. We do more than just sit pretty.
I deeply believe that when people recognize their gifts and use them, they do great things in their lives. Especially when they put their talents and strengths to the right task, amazing things can happen. Even more amazing is when we interact and use our abilities together to achieve the same and right goal, oh wow, good things come into fruition! And in those moments also, you're also living the greatest of your life...you are ALIVE!
You seed, I plant, you water...your song + my dance, our team. We become the definitions of life.
This song - Love (So beautiful) - DJ Maj, Liquid Beats, Boogiroots, reminds me of those things...little things, the pleasure of living...it's a privilege just to be able to breathe, make "breakfast in my little kitchen". So alive...so alive...
Thank you for the gifts You give me.
I deeply believe that when people recognize their gifts and use them, they do great things in their lives. Especially when they put their talents and strengths to the right task, amazing things can happen. Even more amazing is when we interact and use our abilities together to achieve the same and right goal, oh wow, good things come into fruition! And in those moments also, you're also living the greatest of your life...you are ALIVE!
You seed, I plant, you water...your song + my dance, our team. We become the definitions of life.
This song - Love (So beautiful) - DJ Maj, Liquid Beats, Boogiroots, reminds me of those things...little things, the pleasure of living...it's a privilege just to be able to breathe, make "breakfast in my little kitchen". So alive...so alive...
Thank you for the gifts You give me.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Parcel and Past Tense
I attended the Toronto-Singapore Film Festival organized by a friend today. Although the movies were not the best cut or edited or acclaimed, I enjoyed the fact that they engaged me and allowed me the freedom of thinking and wondering.
'Past Tense' was like an injected current into a once tepid pool of water. It stirred up currents and the forgotten things in my thoughts. The whole notion of memories, the past, people, particular translated into latches or anchors (if you will), that we use to see ourselves.
I thought of all the latches or anchors, if you will, we use to attach ourselves to a particular context. These are what keeps us grounded and the backdrop that we play against; in relation to it, it seems that everything makes sense. In relation to it, it seems we remember we have a past, a history and a slate full of information that tells us, this is who we are.
While being in context is all well and good, to the person or individual who is a new creation, such a reminder of the old is like a scar being scoured with salt. Like the recent novel A Million Pieces, the solution opted for, is the one that will break you. Fighting harder to leave it, then just making peace with it. A greater trauma in need of a greater period of healing.
Si vous voyez ma coeur, tu veux compendre. Toute de suite. Even though your chidings are from the most sincere place, they are like great dosses of salt on the scars; yours and mine. Yours because you doubt there is an easier way to healing and mine, because you show me I have scars.
Mais, il y a l'espoir toujours. Pourquoi? Parce-que...c'est d'endroit d'amour. But always remember, where there is also faith there is the right way: the simple decision not to pick up the yoke. But to leave it at the feet of the Lord.
There are certain latches, really chains that we have to remove. We are no longer imprisoned, so let us lift off those things that keep us from soaring.
'Past Tense' was like an injected current into a once tepid pool of water. It stirred up currents and the forgotten things in my thoughts. The whole notion of memories, the past, people, particular translated into latches or anchors (if you will), that we use to see ourselves.
I thought of all the latches or anchors, if you will, we use to attach ourselves to a particular context. These are what keeps us grounded and the backdrop that we play against; in relation to it, it seems that everything makes sense. In relation to it, it seems we remember we have a past, a history and a slate full of information that tells us, this is who we are.
While being in context is all well and good, to the person or individual who is a new creation, such a reminder of the old is like a scar being scoured with salt. Like the recent novel A Million Pieces, the solution opted for, is the one that will break you. Fighting harder to leave it, then just making peace with it. A greater trauma in need of a greater period of healing.
Si vous voyez ma coeur, tu veux compendre. Toute de suite. Even though your chidings are from the most sincere place, they are like great dosses of salt on the scars; yours and mine. Yours because you doubt there is an easier way to healing and mine, because you show me I have scars.
Mais, il y a l'espoir toujours. Pourquoi? Parce-que...c'est d'endroit d'amour. But always remember, where there is also faith there is the right way: the simple decision not to pick up the yoke. But to leave it at the feet of the Lord.
There are certain latches, really chains that we have to remove. We are no longer imprisoned, so let us lift off those things that keep us from soaring.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Locked out for a moment
"야...왜그래 나는???" was the feeling I had when the door knob failed to yield.
The level of sucking increases when you have an egg mask on your face. -_- Blinking helplessly with an immobile face, I postulated several alternatives: a) Camp outside my room; b) Call locksmith; c) Ask Roomie
Roomie it was. After major executive decision-making, I decided to sacrifice my 10-minute mask. It would go off in 5...
Me: *peering under the door for light of each door* *knock knock on Abishek's door*
Abe: Hey
Me: Abe...I locked myself out of my room!! Abe, what do I do??
Abe: Umm....*Rummages for hammer*
Abe rocks! I had apparently gone to the right roomie. He had unlocked that door twice before. Both times involved the weapon of choice - the hammer. In this instance though, he managed to pry and jiggle. It's the skills, baby!
Thanks also to the Man Upstairs! A quick prayer to help, guided footsteps and a little bit of hope go a long way too!
The level of sucking increases when you have an egg mask on your face. -_- Blinking helplessly with an immobile face, I postulated several alternatives: a) Camp outside my room; b) Call locksmith; c) Ask Roomie
Roomie it was. After major executive decision-making, I decided to sacrifice my 10-minute mask. It would go off in 5...
Me: *peering under the door for light of each door* *knock knock on Abishek's door*
Abe: Hey
Me: Abe...I locked myself out of my room!! Abe, what do I do??
Abe: Umm....*Rummages for hammer*
Abe rocks! I had apparently gone to the right roomie. He had unlocked that door twice before. Both times involved the weapon of choice - the hammer. In this instance though, he managed to pry and jiggle. It's the skills, baby!
Thanks also to the Man Upstairs! A quick prayer to help, guided footsteps and a little bit of hope go a long way too!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Sifting
Sifting through all the information I collected and produced in university, I wonder: how much is actually useful and should I retain?
Urban waste management, social research methods, environmental theory, dramas and literature. How much of it will I go back to?
Not wanting to keep it, but not wanting to throw away my own penmanship.
Sigh. No wonder I have so much unfinished packing.
Urban waste management, social research methods, environmental theory, dramas and literature. How much of it will I go back to?
Not wanting to keep it, but not wanting to throw away my own penmanship.
Sigh. No wonder I have so much unfinished packing.
Slow Down and Relax
I feel so relaxed now. Tonight, I have Winterlicious Pangaea to look forward to. YES! Can't wait to have a nice dinner with my girl friend(s).
I was thinking that I'd have that job right now. But maybe, I don't need that job. They have yet to get back to, but I won't be upset if they turn me down. Actually, it'll be rather nice to take things slow, fill out my donship applications and have Becky come over a little earlier than expected.
Everything is being laid out so beautifully. Couldn't have been done any better.
I was thinking that I'd have that job right now. But maybe, I don't need that job. They have yet to get back to, but I won't be upset if they turn me down. Actually, it'll be rather nice to take things slow, fill out my donship applications and have Becky come over a little earlier than expected.
Everything is being laid out so beautifully. Couldn't have been done any better.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
I am free
The tremendous testing has been lifted off my chest. It feels good to know that I am not under the pressure anymore. Whatever happens, doing well or not doing well, I leave that in Your hands. I did the best I could. Now I just have to wait to glorfiy Him.
A lot of thoughts have been flooding in, along with many responsibilities that have been waiting for me. You tell me now to worry, because tommorrow has its worries. Tommorrow has arrived, and I will resume the work that You have left for me. And I simply be the channel in which all comes from You.
There were so many new faces at church today. I feel certain and assured that this next month and a half will be great and God will move and we will testify to Your work.
You're awesome.
Korean dramas, Pangaea, fun and games, here I come!
A lot of thoughts have been flooding in, along with many responsibilities that have been waiting for me. You tell me now to worry, because tommorrow has its worries. Tommorrow has arrived, and I will resume the work that You have left for me. And I simply be the channel in which all comes from You.
There were so many new faces at church today. I feel certain and assured that this next month and a half will be great and God will move and we will testify to Your work.
You're awesome.
Korean dramas, Pangaea, fun and games, here I come!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Testing Draws Near
I won't ever know my reach till I'm tested.
I think about this, as the LSATs are drawing near. I try harder on my part, but it seems the dream You've bestowed me, wavers and wanes. The assurance of UT Law School was once 100%. I don't want that to go away. Ever. I don't EVER want to EVER doubt what You've assured me. When I almost died, You saved my life. How can I forget that assurance that You will bless me and keep me?
I know that I have my limits. I know that beyond my limits is the infinite of the Lord God Almighty. How easy it would be if I just rushed head long and jumped off that cliff; trusting that the Lord would catch me and show me I don't only have legs; but the wings of an eagle.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
(Proverbs 3:5)
I think about this, as the LSATs are drawing near. I try harder on my part, but it seems the dream You've bestowed me, wavers and wanes. The assurance of UT Law School was once 100%. I don't want that to go away. Ever. I don't EVER want to EVER doubt what You've assured me. When I almost died, You saved my life. How can I forget that assurance that You will bless me and keep me?
I know that I have my limits. I know that beyond my limits is the infinite of the Lord God Almighty. How easy it would be if I just rushed head long and jumped off that cliff; trusting that the Lord would catch me and show me I don't only have legs; but the wings of an eagle.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
(Proverbs 3:5)
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